Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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