I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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