my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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