did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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