Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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