She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
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the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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