if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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