But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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