WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
