That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
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woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
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You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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