omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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