SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
