So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
