Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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