There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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