I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
