I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
