How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
