Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
