You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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