Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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