At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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