im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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