Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
