Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
