I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
