Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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