Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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