i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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