They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize