I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
