The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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