You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
