He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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