Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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