if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize