Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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