He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
