honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
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He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
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I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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