it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
