Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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