he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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