that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
