On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize