There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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