I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
