Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize