No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
