My friends, they love my intelligence
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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