i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
