I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
