Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Your cock deserves a montage
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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