At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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