nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
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A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
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And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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