His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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