That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted