Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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