Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.