i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd