so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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