come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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