Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
