Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
