Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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