what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
