Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
